Facebook Status Quotes
Home » Quotes » Facebook Status Quotes
Who says I'm not in shape? Round's a shape, isn't it?
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
47% of all statistics are worthless.
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (& in a big font)!
My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.
I'm cle'a[ni.ng m'y' ke]yb36oa;rd.
; reminds you to not play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
; is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
; thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single".
; lives vicariously...through herself.
; took the "Are you spending too much time on Facebook" quiz and the result is "No - You should spend much more time". Jessie shot the computer.
; notices that nobody ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
; is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
; really wishes she could but, I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
; is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
; really wishes she could , but my panty hose sprung a leak.
; couldn't myself have better it said.
; is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
; is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.
; just found out that they took the word "gullible" out of the dictionary!
; will update his Facebook status for money!
; understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.
; is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.
; says it's been a business doing pleasure with you.
; is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?