T-Shirt Quotes

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How can I love you if you won't lie down ? Work is the curse of the drinking class. There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting. A day without sunshine is like night. The secret of success is sincerity.
Once you can fake that you've got it made.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon. There's no future in time travel. I'm the person your mother warned you about. Never kick a man unless he's down. I'm not as dumb as you look. I wear the brains in the family. We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. People like you are the reason people like me need medication. I'm not unemployed, I'm a consultant. All men are idiots &nd I married their king. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. I'm sorry My fault...I forgot you were an idiot. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes. Where there's a will...I want to be in it. There's too much blood in my alcohol system. Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them! Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. I don't know what makes you dumb But it really works. Your Boyfriend Thinks I'm Hot. Do not disturb I'm disturbed enough already. Weapons Of Mass Distraction. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Life's Too Short To Date Ugly Women. Don't Annoy The Crazy Person. I'm with Stupid. Us blondes aren't dumb. Don't make me call out my Flying Monkeys. Blonde and proud of it. Work sucks but I need the bucks. Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt. Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ? Hey, Im up here ^ I don't need no Educashun. If it's too loud, you're too old. I'm not perfect but parts of me are. Drive defensively, buy a tank! If I throw a stick, will you leave? Try to not let your mind wander, it's much too small to be out on it's own. It's kinda hard to show that I care, b e c a u s e . I . d o n ' t. I'm going off to go find myself.
If I'm not back by the time I return, keep me here.
I would put something CLEVER here...but you just wouldn't get it! 7 out of 3 people are math illiterate. Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that actually do.